I got to call poison control tonight. It says something about my skills as mother that not only did I have the phone number memorized, they called me by name. It sucks to be inadequate.

Today's "incident" was my own fault. I am giving Claire, James and Daniel all Tamiflu to reduce the duration and severity of the flu. They are all on Motrin to reduce fever. James is using nebulizers to help him breathe. Now, how could I screw all that up? Apparently, Claire and James are supposed to take Tamiflu twice a day, and Daniel is only supposed to take it once a day. I have been giving it to Daniel twice a day as well, and when I realized my error, I thought it best to call and make sure he would be okay. They said he would be fine. Still, it sucks.

The suckiness continues. At bedtime, Claire needed a bath. James wanted to take a bath too, but Claire wouldn't let him get in with her. No problem, I put James in the other bathtub, then ran back and forth between them. Normally, I put Daniel in his bumper jumper so I don't worry about him, but tonight I didn't, and worrying about whether he was going to fall down the stairs or fall in the bath added to my stress. I managed to get both kids bathed and out of hte tub when chaos hit.

Claire wrapped herself in a towel, then curled up in the hallway. I asked her about six times to go get dressed, then I got frustrated and raised my voice. She started wailing because I used a "strong voice" with her, and wouldn't get dressed. She screamed from her room that I had broken her heart, disappointed her, etc etc.

I realized how badly Joshy needed to bathe, and told him to go get in the shower. He started crying because he was tired and already had pajamas on, and I had to fight to get him to do it. In his frustration, he hit James, so James was soaking wet and sobbing in his bedroom. Daniel, wonderful baby, was happy in his crib at this point, but all three of the others were sobbing. Loudly.

When it was time for Joshua to get out of the shower, he wouldn't. He curled up in the bottom of the empty bathtub, shivering, demanding that I carry him out and dress him because he had already done it once. I got James in bed, and he reminded me that beloved green blankie was in the dryer. I told him I would bring it. I did end up dressing Joshua, because I was so finished with kids and wanted him to get in bed. Claire threw a massive tantrum because I removed the DVD player from her room. She yelled that I was the worst parent ever and that she hated me. She fell asleep crying.

By the time I got everyone in bed, I was exhasted. I settled down with a funny episode of the Big Bang Theory and chocolate, trying to forget about everything. I felt HORRIBLE an hour later when a sad little voice said "Mommy, did you get it?" I could not figure out what "it" was and had to ask. The answer was a tearful "Green blankie. I've been waiting and waiting."