My children are gone for the week. My mother came and got them, and I am left with only little Daniel. It's a funny thing - I look forward to this so much, and then end up missing my kids like crazy. I wish there was a way to have a break, yet not miss them. Maybe I should hire a nanny?

The grasshopper situation has not improved in the basement. Jared hasn't sprayed yet as we are enjoying our newfound liberty too much and not spending time at home. It is wonderful to be able to go and do things so quickly and easily!!!! We can also stay out past 7:00!!!!! Happy day.

I have no funny things to report, as I do not have my children.

I am currently terrified. The computer is in the basement, and we have a basement infestation of.... Grasshoppers! It sounds like a summer night in the forest down here. I wouldn't be so terrified, but the other day a HUGE, three inch grasshopper took a ride upstairs ON MY SHOULDER. I was ambivelant about the ride until it hopped off my shoulder and across my face!!!! So I am typing fast so I can get upstairs. Sounds silly. But there is one under the desk and I am just waiting for it to jump out at me!!!!

Claire is at grandmothers for a few days and it is amazing how much simpler life is without a kid. It doesn't seem to matter which kid, so long as one is missing. I will never say that three kids is easy, but it is certainly easier than four!

Jamesy is funny. Tonight at dinner he was eating a peach and said "We don't eat the seed, right, Daddy?" And Jared said "Which seeds do we eat?" not really expecting an answer. James answered "Blueberries, the seeds on the outside of strawberries, and sometime grape seeds." Jared was a little stunned. I laughed. Never underestimate a three year old.

I am now running upstairs without spellchecking or proofreading. Let my errors forever be a testament of my terror.

I am really, really tired. I am trying to convince Daniel that he no longer needs his 2:30 am feeding and I am having no success at all. He just turned six months old and is plenty old enough to sleep through the night. The last few nights I have tried to let him cry it out; he has cried for over an hour and I have given in both times. I am too tired and my patience has been short with everyone else. Even Jamesy bothered me today, which really says something about my mood.

Daniel is a very funny baby. He is really happy and easy going, but when he decides to, he has a piercing shriek. It is unnatural from someone so small. I need to figure out how to post a video of it. When he shrieks, we give him whatever he wants, and quickly! So hearing it at 3 am has not been easy! I love having a baby, but right now I remember why I put three year gaps between my children......

So I am off to bed for a few hours of sleep before we go through it again. Any advise out there?

I figure it's only fair, since I write about everyone else on my blog, that I dedicate a post to myself. So today's funny of the day is ..... ME!

I love Target. I love everything about Target, and by everything I mean some pretty odd things. Our Target is literally next door to WalMart, but I can't go to WalMart. I don't care if WalMart saves me a few bucks, because the frustration I save by going to Target makes it all worthwhile.

Here is something I love about Target: I LOVE the plastic shopping bags. They are made of a better, less crinkly plastic. It seems thicker and more like my kitchen trash bags, therefore feels nicer on my hands and sounds less obnoxious. I hoard my Target bags and use them to line my bathroom trash cans, as well as anything else I would need a plastic bag for. When I look in my bag holder and realize I'm out of Target bags, I know it's time to make a trip to Target.

I love the Target generics. I love them less since they have been renamed Up and Up, but I still by them (however, I miss the beloved bulls-eye on my products!) Generally, my Target generics serve me beautifully for less money, although I do not recommend the Up and Up Band-Aids!!!!

I love that, unlike WalMart, Target sends me store coupons. It's always a happy day to have a mailbox full of Target coupons. Who doesn't love saving $$$, particularly when they allow me to combine with a manufacturer coupon?

I love that my Target always has everything in stock, whereas the aforementioned WalMart is always empty. This could be because W is always jam packed, where as T is always fairly empty. I never understand this - T is next door, so why would you pick W???? However, I am happy with the arrangement!

I love Target's food court, with good, healthy choices to eat. Not only do they have their menu selections, they have a small amount of grocery selections such as dried fruit and applesauce. Need a solution to the greasy fast food problem? Solved at Target! Buy your children organic mac n'cheese with a side of fruit and milk!

I love the Target pharmacy. Daniel is on a reflux med, and the liquid is a syrup. I first got it filled at T, and it came with a plug in the top, and a syringe that goes in the plug to measure out the drug. I measured perfectly every time, with no mess, and got to the bottom of the bottle easily. No other pharmacy has this. The reason? Target designed and patented their own bottles. They are awesome. They also color code each family member's drugs, to easily tell them apart in the cupboard. Brilliant!!!!

I love the portrait studio. I can always get an appointment, the photographers are good, and they will take as many poses as I ask them to. The pictures are printed on quality paper, everything is efficiently done, and there is no frustration involved. Plus, they have a bin of toys for the other kids to play with! Awesome.

Also, Target can look up my returns with a credit card, so I never worry about losing receipts! And the baby clothes look sometimes identical to the stuff at Janie and Jack.

Last, but definitely not least, I love the shopping carts at Target. Actually, there are two types of carts at Target: old carts, which say Target on the side, and newer, better carts made of smoother plastic, with a bulls-eye on the side. This is where I confess my weirdness: I HAVE to have a bulls-eye cart. I will search through the cart corral until I find a bulls-eye cart. Once during Christmas I waited inside Target for several minutes for someone to return a bulls-eye cart. A few months ago, there were no available bulls-eye carts. I convinced myself (and it took a few minutes of inner contemplation) that I could use a Target cart. I made it about 10 feet into the store, and had to switch. The Target cart just wasn't the same, and I knew it would ruin my Target experience. Is this what it's like for OCD people all the time? I mean, people more OCD than myself?

I really, really love Target.

My sweet children have a favorite pastime. They have been doing it since they could talk, it will entertain them for hours, requires no supplies, and doesn't require anything from me. The game? Fighting over nothing. Inventing something to fight over. Fighting for the sake of fighting.

It began in the car as soon as Claire could talk, which was extremely early. I remember her, with two little pigtails sticking out of the top of her head, saying "Goggy (Joshy), I have soup!" And Joshua would say "Can I have some?" And Claire saying "No, all mine!" And Joshy saying "Well, I have pink soup, and you can't have any!" Then Claire would say "Give me pink soup!" And Joshua wouldn't share, so she would suddenly have blue soup, which of course she didn't share, and the game ended with Joshua in tears because Claire wouldn't share blue soup. I ignored this, which bugged Claire, so she would spit (to get my attention), then pull the rubber bands out of her adorable pigtails. Then both of the children would laugh over Claire's naughty defiance, and the tears over the soup would be forgotten.

Here's a picture of baby Claire with the pigtails:

Well, over the past 5 years, the game has evolved into many different variations. The current one involves the kids making up wrong facts about one another, just to irritate. I heard it all the way to Utah: Joshua would say "Claire, your favorite animal is a chicken, and your favorite number is 99!" Then Claire would say "JOSHY! My favorite animal is a sheep, and my favorite number is 6!" Then Joshua laughed, Claire wailed and Jared and I rolled our eyes. Then, in revenge, Claire would rhythmically say "Wa Wa Waaaa." This drove Joshua bonkers, and she got her revenge.

The game started again this morning before church. The kids had been going for a while when Jamesy (sweet Jamesy, corrupted by the shenanigans), said "Claire, your favorite animal is a chicken and your favorite number is 99!" Claire replied "Oh yeah? Your favorite thing in the world is a GLUE STICK!" (it happened to be sitting on the table next to him.) James, very offended, said "NO IT'S NOT! My favorite thing in the world is MOMMY!"

As an afterthought: I saw this picture and had to add it - only at our house can you take a toilet ride through the house!