Today is the last day of school, and it is bittersweet. On one hand, I am thrilled to be relieved of the pressures of school. I am excited to spend some time with my children. On the other hand, I am sad that the kids are growing up. I am sad to say goodbye to their wonderful teachers. I now have to entertain them ALL DAY LONG.

Both children came home with loads and loads of papers, awards, scraps, unfinished homework, everything you can think of. Dried out markers? Check. The classroom respect chart? Check? A poster made by another student? Check.

Claire, quite shockingly, won the quiet mouse award, for being the quietest student in the class. Now, how on earth is this possible? How can a child, whose livliness drives us crazy, who is saucy on the bus all the way to school, completely clam up at the door? I don't know, but I wish I knew the secret. I would use it at home.

I have made a deal with Claire. I am not going to bug her about her bedroom's messiness. All she has to focus on is keeping clean clothes in the drawers, and dirty clothes in the bucket. I told her I will overlook the other issues until she has mastered this. Then we will move on to the next task. Maybe by simplifying it for her, she will learn, step by step, how to keep her room clean. I was laying on her bed tonight - I could barely fit, for all the stuff she had piled on it. I was looking at the wall by her bed: on the wall, she has taped a poster sized lesson from her teacher, a few pieces of toilet paper (artfully torn), a ribbon, a row of stickers, and other random nonsense. This is all taped on her wall! I would have never done this - it would have driven me crazy at three years old. Where does she come from???? At least we have something to work on this summer.....

We own a book called The Baby Name Survey Book. The book is just as the title discribes - what surveyed people thought of different names. Claire found this book and first looked up Joshua. The image Joshua brings to mind is a handsome blond boy who is very sweet. She then looked up James. The image James brings to mind is a smart, aristocratic man. Then Jared - Jared is described as a quiet, well mannered youth from the Midwest. Claire was very happy with all this, exclaiming "Mommy, this book knows all about everyone! It's exactly right! I can't wait to see what it says about me." We turned to the appropriate page - Clare is described as a fat, sickly, homly old woman who is well-educated and quiet. Claire shrieked like a banshee when she read this. She then said "MOMMY! Didn't you look at this before you named me????"

This was not the end of the drama. She was devistated. She laid on the kitchen floor, weeping and wailing like the world had come to an end. She kept saying "There's NOTHING worse than being ugly! Nothing in the whole world!" I asked her if she would rather be mean or ugly? Mean, of course! Stupid or ugly? Stupid, duh! Because nothing, nothing is worse than being ugly. I told her that at least it said she was well-educated, which meant she was smart. She replied "I am NOT smart. If I were smart, I wouldn't be fat! I would know which foods to eat and how to exercise. So I am NOT SMART!" She was not going to let up on all this. She finally decided she couldn't be Claire anymore, and demanded to be called Lexi. So we looked up Lexi, who was described as downright nasty. Claire really lost it then. She even took a pen and crossed out the definiton by her name.

As Claire was scribbling away with the pen, she happened to notice there was a second definition, for Claire spelled with an I. She quickly read it aloud: Claire is described as a tall, attractive regal woman who is very kind and very independent. All was well with the world again, and Claire quickly recovered her composure. "See?" she said to me. "The book wasn't wrong at all, Mommy, you just have to know how to spell!"