For as much as I talk about perspective, sometimes I really struggle with it! I made the mistake of house hunting online... I am always happy(ish) with what I have until I see what someone else has or what I think I should have.

I have decided that it would be nice to have a bigger house. I drive through nice neighborhoods and dream about it. Now I am trying to talk myself down. Would having a huge house mean that it would magically stay clean? It would just mean that I would have more area to clean up. Would having a gourmet kitchen suddenly make my cooking edible? Doubtful! I keep reminding myself that I did better with laundry in my last apartment, because the washer and dryer were right by the bedrooms, and only a few feet from the TV where I fold laundry. Now that I have a nice laundry room in the basement, I never do laundry. So the laundry room I dreamed of is biting me in the tucas! I am sure my other dreams would be equally anticlimatic (except a garage! How awesome would it be to always have a convenient place to park? No more parallel parking on the street, praying no one takes my spot while I'm gone... that dream truly would be awesome.)

It doesn't help my pity party that my children, even my four year old, ask why we live in such a small house. I try not to complain to them, and to always be positive and thankful for our wonderful home, because I truly am. However, when they ask why so-and-so, who have less children, have a huge house with a park behind it, I realize that they are growing up. They could probably use a "park" behind our house to run around. They could probably use some personal space. Heck, I could use some personal space!!!

I was feeling sorry for myself tonight, so I decided to look at the ward directory to see where everyone lives and pick out my ideal home location. I felt more and more discouraged until I saw a family in our stake that just lost preemie twins. Suddenly that perspective returned, and I realized that I have it really good right now. Really, really good. I have a nice little home, and we have been able to fix it up and make it our own. Today we had a gigantic rain storm and our basement didn't leak. I have a kind and loving husband and four wonderful, healthy children. We have income. We have the gospel.

I'm sure the dreams of owning a nice home will return. I'm sure that as I (literally) trip over children who have decided to sleep on my floor, I will wish for a home with more space. But I am trying, trying to remember the hard times and how lucky I really am.