I was putting the kids in bed and Joshua said "Oh no, James! We forgot to make mischevious plans for bedtime! Do you want to play the book game or the pillow game? Or just do something to Claire? What about throw things in Daniel's crib?"

I am feeling the weight of the world crashing down today. It seems like everything happens at once. So this has happened in the last week: here it is, Christmas time. And I had a good friend, a parent of another sick child, die from a tragic accident. Then (and this one is REALLY unbelievable) my neighbor, whom I always considered a friend, threw her baby grandaughter off a bridge, killing her. I spent all day Tuesday in numb shock, fighting off the media at my front door, then mentally practacing all the things I needed to tell the police. Just to make things more interesting, we got the results back from Joshua's neuropsych evaluation. It was nothing unexpected (thankfully), but now I have a list of SEVEN specialists that we need to see, plus all the regular doctors. I am feeling inadequate to do all this, not to mention that since I have done it before, I know exactly how much work it is going to be.

What happened to get married, buy a cute house with a picket fence, have lots of babies and have my biggest worry be what to make for dinner????